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For North Star

I was thinking.. How should I begin this blog letter? Dear Shagunk? Like how Yasmin Ahmad wrote Toffee to refer to a particular person in her personal journal entree? But Shagunk sounds a bit rempit and your initial is too obvious. So out of all your never-ending nicknames, I shall go with North Star. Like the first playlist I ever made you, For North Star. I wrote this letter last night, and I thought of sending it to you over the weekend. But I don't think I have the guts to. So being the chicken I am, I am writing down the letter here thinking maybe you'll read it, maybe you won't. So here goes nothing; , , , , , , , , Dear North Star, There's so much that I'd like to say to you. So much that I have been keeping to myself. But where do I even begin? Is it even possible to tell them all? They are all scattered around now. From my sorrows to my happiness, even to my confusion. Do you have any idea that even by talking to you could make me happy?...
Recent posts

Reminiscence and parts of my memories that I've never explored.

Arwah Tan Sri P. Ramlee.      Never have I given him a deliberate thought. I have watched his movies, listened to his songs, sure, but I never really grasped the meanings behind them. It is most probably because I started watching his movies ever since I was very little, I did not know how to truly appreciate his work.       Yesterday, just out of the blue I felt like I wanted to listen to his songs again. And of course, the first song that I looked for on youtube was Di Mana Kan Ku Cari Ganti from my favourite P. ramlee movie, Ibu Mertuaku.  I remember watching this movie with my mother and vague memories of her crying her eyeballs out are somehow still existent in my mind. This movie (spoiler alert if you have not watched it) told  a story of a saxophonist, Kassim Selamat (P. Ramlee) whose marriage with the only daughter of a wealthy family was objected persistently and assiduously by his mother-in-law.  The second...

The light amidst the storm.

6.53 pm      I find it amazing how even in the darkest of storms, there could still be light rays penetrating through the clouds, showing that there could still be light no matter how scary and dark it gets. My current view from my hostel room is the perfect epitome of that. Five minutes ago, dark clouds rolled over the hills but a slight hint of the evening hues fought through the tight grasp of the clouds and when they finally went through, it gave me an indescribable feeling. They are finally making their last entrance before the day shifts to the night, when the sun retreats and the moon reciprocates by diligently shining its scarce, dim light upon us all. Clouds are drifting fast and so are my emotions as they pave their path synchronously with the random movement of the billows.  The question is, are the movements really random?   Or are they controlled by an omnipotent power   that we do not acknowledge?  Even if we do acknowledge the...

Deviant state of mind.

It has been too long since I last wrote something on this blog. A part of it was caused by my perpetual laziness. And another part of it was because, I thought that this place was too public for me to write down what I felt/am feeling. Which totally goes against why I made this blog in the first place! Well, it's probably because I haven't really been..  Myself. I thought it was just a temporary phase that would come and go in a blink of an eye. I tried many things to make me feel better. But no, the content and serenity that I had in me has long been disrupted for a month now. And that's a really long time for me, considering that I was once a very jovial, exuberant human-being. I even thought that it is incronguous and  unbefitting for me to write "exuberant" as my bio on Tumblr. Heck, I even looked up for signs of depression online and that really says a lot about the state that I'm in right now. It feels like I'm back to my 15-year-old self, where I wo...

(Qil)lie's Castle 2016.

Penang Jan 2016.

Art appreciation day part 2.