Skip to main content

Reminiscence and parts of my memories that I've never explored.

Arwah Tan Sri P. Ramlee.

     Never have I given him a deliberate thought. I have watched his movies, listened to his songs, sure, but I never really grasped the meanings behind them. It is most probably because I started watching his movies ever since I was very little, I did not know how to truly appreciate his work. 

     Yesterday, just out of the blue I felt like I wanted to listen to his songs again. And of course, the first song that I looked for on youtube was Di Mana Kan Ku Cari Ganti from my favourite P. ramlee movie, Ibu Mertuaku. 




I remember watching this movie with my mother and vague memories of her crying her eyeballs out are somehow still existent in my mind. This movie (spoiler alert if you have not watched it) told  a story of a saxophonist, Kassim Selamat (P. Ramlee) whose marriage with the only daughter of a wealthy family was objected persistently and assiduously by his mother-in-law. 

The second the song Di Mana Kan Ku Cari Ganti started playing, what-had-been-forgotten bits of my past experience came flooding back and it made me come into a realization. My late father, who passed away when I was 12, always sang the intro of this song to me. Without preamble rolls of tears started to careen down my cheeks. I had not realize it then how much this song would mean to me someday. The intro goes:

" Hendak ku nangis,
Tiada berair mata,
Hendak ku senyum,
Tiada siapa nak teman, 
Kalau dah nasib, 
Sudah tersurat,
Begini hebat,
Apa nak buat."

P. Ramlee's melancholic notes and voice brought nothing but emotions to my already nimble heart. Having to lose a father for almost a decade, I hate to admit this but, I have become sort of numb. Numb towards what, I don't even know. I still do recite an al-fatihah to him 5 times a day after my daily prayer, but I usually do it in a rush without genuine, sincere feeling to it. I do it partly because it has become a norm to me. But this song, particularly the intro, brought back the sadness and the emptiness that I felt after my father left us. 

After the song ended, I started playing other songs by him such as Jeritan Batinku and Jangan Tinggal Daku. I even watched a documentary on his life journey when I should have spent my time studying for my final examination instead, har har. Boy I am screwed.

Putting that aside, P. Ramlee was truly one of a kind. His creativity brought so many people together, barrels of tears fell, and an abundance of emotions felt. May both P. Ramlee and my late father be granted with the highest deeds, their sins pardoned, and a place in paradise. 
Al-fatihah. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nanok Gulai Girls

     It has been suchhhhh a long time since I last blogged and now that I have WAY too much free time, I decided to write a lil something. About my nanok gulai girls! Haih these girls... Where do I even begin? I bet it is going to be one hell of a long post, so I'm not sure if anyone is going to read this till the end. But if you're one of the few people who does, then congrats! You da real mvp.      To commence, I guess it is best if I start introducing them one by one. 8/9 with Ayu missing in the picture. From left: Fazleen (Faz), Safiyyah Yunos (Sasa), Afifah Abd Rahman (fifa15), Arisya Farhani (Syahani), Aina Adleen (Enaleen), Me (qila jo-d), Farisha Aziz (Faa/Ishii), and Wan Zahira (1jeera). Picture taken on the last day of foundation, creyz. Hey there's Ayu in the picture beside me! Top row, second from right. Still incomplete, with Faz missing in the picture.  I swear we have the weirdest nicknames lol and yes, we actu...
Post a Comment
Read more

Laughters & Ice-Cream.

  Creyz because of the heat but yayerz to the splendid natural lighting hehe.  Pretended to greet an old friend. Must've been one hell of an awkward reunion. When it comes to me, that's what happens I suppose.  This is so not a candid picture ew. What is it with people and pretending to laugh when taking pictures anyway? I look like a penguin most of the time. :( Now this is a real candid shot.  Outfit details on the left: Top, Forever 21. Skirt, sister's (but I think it was bought in Indonesia). Necklace, Forever 21. Hand cuffs, https://my.carousell.com/anis.sofhea/. Peep toe hells, Vincci. Clutch, Bonita.   One with the bride and groom. Congratulations on your recent venture into something so sacred and thrilling. Also, thanks for the invitation, lovely Mai! Did some reminiscing of  those days working in Chili's. (googled on how to spell Chili's because until today I still don't know how to spell it pr...
Post a Comment
Read more

For North Star

I was thinking.. How should I begin this blog letter? Dear Shagunk? Like how Yasmin Ahmad wrote Toffee to refer to a particular person in her personal journal entree? But Shagunk sounds a bit rempit and your initial is too obvious. So out of all your never-ending nicknames, I shall go with North Star. Like the first playlist I ever made you, For North Star. I wrote this letter last night, and I thought of sending it to you over the weekend. But I don't think I have the guts to. So being the chicken I am, I am writing down the letter here thinking maybe you'll read it, maybe you won't. So here goes nothing; , , , , , , , , Dear North Star, There's so much that I'd like to say to you. So much that I have been keeping to myself. But where do I even begin? Is it even possible to tell them all? They are all scattered around now. From my sorrows to my happiness, even to my confusion. Do you have any idea that even by talking to you could make me happy?...
Post a Comment
Read more